533 lines
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Plaintext
Executable File
533 lines
21 KiB
Plaintext
Executable File
sport
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football
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8420286
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-----
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# Paul Gascoigne ready to tell the sobering truth after 15 years as an
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alcoholic
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## Paul Gascoigne is pondering the fact he is to go on a national theatre
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tour later this year, entertaining paying audiences as part of a freshly
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formed double act with Jimmy Greaves.
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![Paul Gascoigne ready to tell the sobering truth after 15 years as an
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alcoholic][1]
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Sober and sanguine: Paul Gascoigne is going on a nationwide tour with Jimmy
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Greaves
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[![Jim White][2]][3]
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By [Jim White][4] 6:00AM BST 01 Apr 2011
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[Comments][5]
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Looking back at a life pockmarked with incident, one latterly conducted
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largely through an alcoholic haze, he is thinking about what he will first say
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when he first walks out on stage.
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"Probably what I'll say is: I can't ------- believe I turned up."
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He has a point. The last time Gascoigne addressed the public was last spring,
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when, dishevelled, distracted and more than a little confused, he arrived at
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the scene where the fugitive Geordie gunman Raul Moat had been cornered by
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police.
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Armed only with a takeaway, he was offering his services as a mediator. When
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his approach was turned down, he responded with a barely coherent radio
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interview in which he blathered on about Moat being someone who could use a
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chicken curry.
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It was an incident that might have been comical had it not been so depressing.
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For those of us of a certain age, who recall the joy he delivered on a
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football pitch, watching the man who had once cheered up the nation with his
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dash, his elan, his childlike enthusiasm finally brought low by a 15-year
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dependence on the booze was close to heartbreaking.
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## Related Articles
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* [Gazza at his best][6]
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01 Apr 2011
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* [Paul Gascoigne: career in pics][7]
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01 Apr 2011
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* [Capello's quiet revolution][8]
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28 Mar 2011
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* [A lot of hot air but no real fire in wounded Dragon][9]
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25 Mar 2011
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* [Another four glorious days][10]
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18 Mar 2011
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* [Gebrselassie: born to run][11]
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17 Mar 2011
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At the rate of decline he demonstrated that day in the Durham countryside, the
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next time we expected to see him was in a coffin.
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But here he is, sitting in an office in Bournemouth, looking spry, the
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liverish pallor that hung about him for so long replaced by a glow of health.
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The only thing that betrays his recent past is a slight tremor in his
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handshake.
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He has been sober for five months now. And he is looking forward to a future
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that looked entirely beyond him this time last year, part of which is to turn
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himself into an entertainer.
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"It won't be a problem for me, telling a few jokes," he says. "After all, my
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life has been one long ------- joke. Sometimes I amaze myself at the stuff I
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did.
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"It's not often you stop a red double-decker bus with 70 passengers on board
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and take it over and start driving down some London high street. Then we ran
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off, laughing and when we were watching telly later on we're only on the
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------- news, aren't we. I thought it was dead funny. Poor driver got sacked
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though. I'd do things like that all the time. I couldn't help myself. I used
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to get too excited."
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That was Gazza all right: too excited. He spent the best part of 20 years
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living at emotional top kilter, incapable of control. He did some bad things
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in his time, not least assaulting his wife. Yet there was something
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endearingly naive about him that meant he was forgiven almost every crass
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transgression.
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The trouble was, everyone found him endearing except himself. He hated the way
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he couldn't control the need to be at the centre of attention, loathed his
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near Tourette's insistence on making his presence felt in every social
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circumstance.
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Football, it was clear even from the moment he first burst on the scene with
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Newcastle, was the one thing that provided him with a sense of purpose.
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On the pitch he felt liberated, at training he could escape his demons; he was
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such a natural at times, he says, he didn't even know how he had done some of
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the things he conjured up on the pitch.
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But when the football finished, he was faced with a tortuous expanse of
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emptiness. A gap in his life he filled with booze.
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"I was drinking when I was playing," he says. "That was my problem: I liked
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the drink."
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Gascoigne's ex-colleague and housemate, Paul Merson, has just published a book
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replete with eye-watering details of their drinking games. Merson concludes
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that footballers now could not behave as he and Gazza did in the Nineties, not
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with the medical scrutiny under which the modern pro now operates.
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So does Gascoigne himself believe he might have been better off playing now,
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under a structure of imposed discipline, rather than in his time when there
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was much more personal leeway?
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"Leeway? Listen, I played in Italy for four years," he says. "There wasn't
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much leeway there. Yet I managed to get a drink in. It's down to you. Gary
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Mabbutt went through the same time as me and he didn't bother with the drink.
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"It wasn't the game that drove me to drink. It was me. No one forced Paul
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Merson to go and have a drink, no one forced him to take drugs. It's that
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person. Yeah, maybe it comes through the genes. Whatever. But don't blame
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life, deal with it."
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And was it drink that stopped him dealing with life?
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"Course," he admits. "I couldn't deal with life on life's terms, I suppose.
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I'd get stitched up by people and instead of dealing with it, I'd run and hide
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in the drink. I couldn't say no. I wasted a lot of money in my time, but not
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on the drink: I always got that for free.
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"I mean, I could never go in a pub without people offering to buy me a pint.
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They meant well, but it wasn't a good idea. I'm not blaming them, it's my own
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fault. I didn't have to drink it. But I did get bought a ---- of a lot of
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drink."
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Did he enjoy any of it?
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"Ah, don't get me wrong, I had a good time as a drunk," he says. "Some of the
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mad stuff I did, it was great when it was happening. You paid the consequences
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later, for sure. But you can't look back with too much regret. I wouldn't
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change what happened in my career. That was great. But the drinking got out of
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hand. It became an obsession."
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An obsession he has tried to overcome many times.
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"I've been to treatment centres before," he admits. "I've done programmes. The
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last three or four years I'd go nine months sober, then bang, I'd go on a real
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bender for six weeks, go on holiday with the wrong crowd and go mad.
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"Then the press and that, they'd think I'd been on the drink permanent, like,
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which was totally wrong. But that's the thing: if you've been on the drink for
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six weeks, you can't turn round and say, yeah but I was nine months sober. It
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doesn't count."
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He even put his name to a book about his experiences as a drunk, claiming it
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was all in the past. Many a reader was inspired to seek help by his candour.
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"Aye, the only person who didn't take heed of what was in the book was me," he
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says. "I got loads of letters when it came out. I had a pint in me hand
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reading them. I should have read it meself. I might have got some tips from
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it.
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"When I went in treatment before, it was for the family or for my ex-wife. I
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was never really honest. I went through the treatment, but even as I was doing
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it, I knew I was going to drink when I left. I never gave it a chance. But
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this time, I've done it for myself. I just reached that point where I realised
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something had to be done."
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So how did that point manifest itself? "Handcuffs. Handcuffs made me think.
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Getting banged up for the drink driving doesn't half sober you up. Sitting in
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a police cell, I thought, I can't go on like this. I knew for 15 years I was
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an alcoholic, but I just didn't want to stop before. Now I do."
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So last autumn, he signed up with the Providence Project, a treatment centre
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in Bournemouth where he spent three months in intensive residential treatment
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and is now in the midst of a second three-month stint as an outpatient.
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"At first it was hard," he says of a course which required him to make some
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substantial changes to his life and his circle. "But now I'm not white-
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knuckling. I'm not craving a drink all the time, like I was. I like a drink.
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That's me nature. I'd like a drink now, this minute. But I can't have just one
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drink, so it's better not to have any. I'm hoping I can get me life back
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through this project."
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And, since part of the treatment is talking about his problems rather than
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attempting to hide them, his counsellors suggested it might be an idea to go
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public. His theatre tour with Greaves was their suggestion, and he gladly
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agreed. This is theatre as therapy.
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"I'm pleased to talk about it," he says. "There may be people coming to these
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dos who are like me, they might be drunk, struggling. They might want to hear
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my experience. I know what it's like waking up in the morning wanting a drink.
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I know what it's like to put everything on the line for another drink. They
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might look at me and think: I'm not alone. I'm happy to answer anyone's
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question."
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Plus, he is in appropriate company. Greaves nearly drank himself into an early
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grave on retiring from the game before renouncing the booze. He has not
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touched a drop in more than 30 years.
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"It's great to have Jimmy. His drinking spell was a long time ago, but I'm
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sure he'll be able to help me if I get an urge. You know, drink's everywhere,
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90 per cent of the country is a drinking culture. And the other 10 per cent's
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like me, been on the Providence Project."
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And he has already prepared himself for some of the questions he will face.
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"Hardest opponent? The taxman," he says. He should know, he went 12 rounds
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with the Inland Revenue at a bankruptcy hearing just last week. "They took me
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to court for money they'd been waiting on for three years. The thing is, it
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was people using my name to make money. I never saw any of it. Now they've
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given us time to sort it. And we will. I'm paying it off now, it's not a
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problem."
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Indeed, he says, that is the best part of being sober: getting back parts of
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his life that seemed to have gone completely out of kilter.
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"I changed everything. Sacked me agents, got new advisers. I used to get
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promised this and that, it never materialised. I had one way of coping with
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it, drinking. And that made it worse. Now I'm using top lawyers to sort out
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the mess. Quite a few people will be getting some letters from me soon."
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Including, he says, the _News of the World_. Gascoigne alleges he was one of
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many high-profile people who had their phone tapped by the paper.
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"The thing is, when I was getting tapped I knew I was. And I was telling
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everyone, I'm being tapped, I'm being tapped. And because of the drink, people
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just thought I was going mental and paranoid and that.
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"More people thought that, worse it got. Actually I did go mad for a couple of
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months, I had to get help. Then I find out I was right all along, the police
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tell me I was being tapped. I tell you what, I'm glad I'll be sober to see
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them in court."
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_For information and tickets for the Gazza and Greavsie Show, including VIP
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packages featuring the opportunity to meet the entertainers in person, visit
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www.a1sportingmemorabilia.co.uk _
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## [Football][17]
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