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7711684
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# 'I'd be ashamed to offer Delia Smith's risotto to a guest'
## Delia Smith's seafood risotto has been described variously as 'dreadful',
'wrong' and 'yuck'. Harry Wallop cooks it for himself.
![Delia Smith: 'I'd be ashamed to offer Delia Smith's risotto to a guest'][1]
Delia Smith Photo: GETTY IMAGES
By Harry Wallop 7:00AM BST 12 May 2010
[Comments][2]
There is no fury like a Delia acolyte scorned. They are like Lembit Opik told
he is no longer the country's most famous Lib Dem: baffled, resentful and
unwilling to accept reality.
While it is the fall out from the election that has vexed Westminster all
week, it is the curious case of a seafood risotto that has caused an army of
Delia fans to vent their fury.
It is a simple recipe that Delia has produced as part of her and Heston
Blumenthal's tie-up with Waitrose. Just a simple recipe.
But to read the comments posted on the supermarket's website, you would have
thought she had gone out and torn off the limbs of young children using a
grapefruit slicer.
"Incomprehensible how Delia, whose cooking philosophy is so reliable and
straightforward, could have got this one so wrong," posted one.
## Related Articles
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06 Jul 2010
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20 Oct 2010
"I'm a lifelong Delia fan and can't say I've ever had a disaster with any of
her recipes but this was dreadful," was another comment.
"YUCK, YUCK, YUCK," was perhaps the most succinct.
Even _Watchog_, the BBC's venerable consumer affairs programme, saw fit to
investigate the recipe as if it were some dodgy car dealer or rogue plumber.
Delia's reputation, hard won over four decades of teaching the country how to
cook, was trashed by the Queen of Mean, Anne Robinson in five words.
"Disgusting. It is so horrible," she said trying to sneer - though, with all
that Botox it was hard to say if it was a sneer or toothache.
I'm of the view that anything that winds up Anne Robinson has some merit, so
it was time to cook the infamous dish and see for myself.
The Waitrose scheme with Smith and Blumenthal is very clever. For less than
£2million, the supermarket has secured the services of two of the most sought-
after cooks in the country for over a year. One appeals to foodies who think
they are cooking Michelin-starred food because they wield a blow torch fuelled
by lighter fluid. The other is a surrogate mother, on whose apron strings we
can tug when our souffles start to deflate.
Each week one or the other demonstrates a new recipe in an elongated
television advert. Pop into Waitrose and there all the ingredients can be
found gathered together on a prominent shelf.
As Delia's agent, Deborah Owen, says: "I love the idea, when you are really
busy and you have no idea what to cook for some friends coming around, it is
there for you: all the ingredients and a recipe card."
The scheme, launched in March, has been a huge hit. Despite meticulous
planning, the supermarket is struggling to keep up with demand. Every time a
new recipe appears, sales are boosted by at least £1million as loyal customers
rush out to try a new idea.
My local Waitrose had sold out of the key ingredient: a £3.99 jar of Perard
Soupe de Poissons, a classic French soup.
According to Steve Field, in charge of the dried goods section at the Holloway
Road branch, the supermarket had sold three years' worth of fish soup in one
week. Head Office said it had shifted 55,000 of the expensive, rarefied jars
over the last week.
Mr Field pointed me in the direction of the nearest store with the soup in
stock, and warned me, as I headed off, "It's delicious, but potent. Make sure
you open the window."
Hardly encouraging. But cooking the recipe was certainly easy. No simmering of
stocks and browning off of onions, like most risottos.
Delia is back in her cheat-by-using-expensive-packets mode. The whole jar of
soup is poured on top of the rice, a glug of wine added, and you wait
patiently.
At first the smell is fine - after all, Perard are very much the Christine
Lagarde of French soups. Classy.
But as the soup reduces, and gets soaked up by the rice, the concoction gets
thicker and more pungent. The addition of dry white wine - without burning off
the alcohol - adds an acidic note.
By the time I opened the frozen pack of mixed seafood into a frying pan,
allowing them to boil in their watery juices, I was starting to have serious
doubts and my kitchen was smelling like a cheap Marseilles brothel.
Transferring it from frying pan to plate required the skill of a master
bricklayer applying a dollop of mortar to a crumbling wall. I had, according
to Delia, just produced a risotto that should be "yummy".
Well, it's not the worst meal I've ever eaten. A mutton fat soup eaten in Ulan
Ude will forever hold that honour. But it is certainly something I'd be
ashamed to offer to any guest.
The lovely fish soup had coagulated into a rather nasty and acrid, thick blob
of rice, studded with rubbery bits of seafood. Risottos should be creamy, and
however strongly flavoured, they should be light on their toes.
This had the finesse of John Prescott negotiating a peace deal with Ukip.
And the dish didn't come cheap. If you bought all the ingredients from
scratch, your pocket would be about £16 lighter - a point made by many of the
angry shoppers posting their views on Waitrose's website.
The supermarket is phlegmatic about the rebellion it has caused, helped by the
extra £1million in sales. A spokesman said: "We're very sorry if it's not to
some people's taste. Judging by other comments and the high sales of all the
things that go into the risotto, many customers clearly love it."
Well, most bought the ingredients before they knew what they'd let themselves
in for.
The final verdict came from my wife, who has been recovering from a bout of
Norovirus. "Oh God, what on earth have you been doing," she exclaimed as she
came in the house, before rushing out with her mouth and nose covered in a
handkerchief.
Smith is so powerful that she has made it into various dictionaries. It's just
unfortunate that this time around, "the Delia effect" has caused such a
violent reaction.
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