220 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
Executable File
220 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
Executable File
sport
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motorsport
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formulaone
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8132461
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# Ridiculous, decadent but still compelling - that's F1 in the Bernie
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Ecclestone era
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## Imagine that England and Australia are stepping on to the field at
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Brisbane in the Ashes in a fortnight's time.
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![Final Whistle: Ridiculous, decadent but still compelling ? that?s F1
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][1]
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Glitzy: the glamorous opulence of Abu Dhabi seemed to suspend the critical
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faculties of some commentators Photo: GETTY
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[![Jonathan Liew][2]][3]
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By [Jonathan Liew][4] 7:30AM GMT 15 Nov 2010
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[Follow Jonathan Liew on Twitter][5]
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[Comments][6]
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James Anderson runs up and tosses the ball underarm to Shane Watson, who
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defends it. This continues for two or three overs. Eventually Watson leans
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forward and cover drives for four, at which point the stumps are drawn, the
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players shake hands and the Ashes are awarded to Australia.
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Well, you would feel a little short-changed, wouldn't you? That, though, was
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the long and the short of David Haye v Audley Harrison on Sky Box Office on
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Saturday night. Four years of hype (give or take), thousands of column yards
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and several dozen unforgivable references to gang rape produced, as its yield,
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one firm bop and a little light dancing. And they wonder why boxing is dying a
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slow death.
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Formula One may not be instinctively associated with value for money, but for
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just half the £15 you could have forked out on the fleeting Haye-Harrison
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bagatelle, you could be enjoying Formula One on the BBC until 2013. Actually,
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it doesn't really matter whether you are or not.
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If you own a TV licence, you've already paid about £8 (or around 9p a race)
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for it, whatever your opinion of Bernie Ecclestone's mechanised travelling
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funfair.
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And F1 is nothing if not divisive. For every F1 nut with an internal
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combustion engine for a bloodstream, there is an unimpressed agnostic who sees
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only a procession of metal husks burning an unfixable hole in the ozone layer.
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## Related Articles
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* [F1 quotes of the season][7]
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14 Nov 2010
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* [Vettel F1 world champion][8]
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14 Nov 2010
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* [Sebastian Vettel: factfile][9]
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14 Nov 2010
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* [Drivers' title: key moments][10]
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14 Nov 2010
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* [Alonso: I deserve the title][11]
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13 Nov 2010
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But in order to justify its £200 million, pre-recession outlay, the BBC needs
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to reach out to the undecided middle, the fair-weather admirers who adored
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Nigel Mansell and Damon Hill, but are less convinced by these preening young
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pups in their branded baseball caps.
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The climax of the most pulsating F1 season in about two years was the perfect
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shop window. With four men still in the running, there was no hard sell
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required, but the BBC provided it nonetheless.
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"Everybody is so excited," Eddie Jordan gushed. "This championship has caught
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everybody's imagination. This is the perfect scene for such a finale."
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It was, but not in the way he intended it. Abu Dhabi is one of those strange
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places that is both simmering hub and supermassive void.
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Every vestige of taste and discretion disappears into a black hole of gaudy
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wealth and opulent self-tribute. The public library in Abu Dhabi is probably a
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400ft glass monolith containing a pampering spa, a Moet bar and three books,
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all of them about oil. As a metaphor for F1, then, it is particularly
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apposite.
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Having bought into the concept in bulk, the BBC embraced it thoroughly, and
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the stench of salesmanship pervaded throughout. Analysis and comment uneasily
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brushed shoulders with unctuous veneration in a way that would have
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embarrassed even Sky.
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The otherwise likeable Jake Humphrey tiptoed into the McLaren garage, and with
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all the poise of a teenage girl let loose in Take That's dressing room, spent
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most of the time whispering breathlessly about how exciting it all was.
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Jordan, meanwhile, was busily weaseling his way into the affections of Bernie
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Ecclestone and Sheikh Mohammed.
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"It's a tremendous privilege to meet you," Jordan cooed as he took the crown
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prince's proffered hand. "You are our inspiration and our leader."
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What was this? We wanted nuggets of expertise, not grovelling panegyrics to
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foreign leaders. This was toasted waffle with lashings of syrup.
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But while F1 may be the world's most ridiculous, decadent sport, it remains
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bewilderingly compelling. Michael Schumacher was inches away from being
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decapitated on the opening lap; the curious safety car waltz followed; and
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ultimately, after a tactical faux pas several strata beyond my understanding,
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Fernando Alonso watched the championship slip agonisingly from his grasp.
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With the climax came the edifying sight of men attempting to express joy
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whilst either strapped into a cockpit or via a radio link.
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"_Weltmeister_!" a Red Bull mechanic screamed into Sebastian Vettel's earpiece
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in perfect Home Counties English. Think David Cameron playing a World War Two
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bad guy. It was worth 9p on its own.
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Never mind that most people would not know a diffuser if it blew hot air in
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their face. Never mind that the BBC should probably be blowing our £200
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million on something more worthy and inclusive, like the Proms or Bill Oddie.
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As a noisy, overpriced Sunday afternoon wallow, F1 brings out the Abu Dhabi in
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all of us.
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[X][12] Share & bookmark
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Digg Fark LinkedIn Google Buzz StumbleUpon Y! Buzz
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[What are these?][13]
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* Share: [Share][12] [ ][14] [ ][15]
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[Tweet][16]
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/motorsport/formulaone/8132461/Ridiculous-
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decadent-but-still-compelling-thats-F1-in-the-Bernie-Ecclestone-era.html
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Telegraph
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## [Formula One][17]
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* ### [Sport »][18]
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* ### [Motorsport »][19]
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* ### [Jonathan Liew »][3]
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In sport
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[![][20] ][21]
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### [Red Bull rule in Turkey][21]
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[![Formula One 2011: drivers' and constructors' world championships standings
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- Sebastian Vettel and Lewis Hamilton][22] ][23]
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### [F1 2011: standings][23]
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[![][24] ][25]
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### [F1 2011: full race schedule][25]
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[X][12] Share & bookmark
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Delicious Facebook Google Messenger Reddit Twitter
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Digg Fark LinkedIn Google Buzz StumbleUpon Y! Buzz
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[What are these?][13]
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Share:
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* [ ][12]
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* [ ][14]
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* [ ][15]
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* [Tweet][16]
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* FORMULA ONE ACTION PHOTOS
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Advertisement
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![][26]
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telegraphuk
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Please enable JavaScript to view the [comments powered by Disqus.][27] [blog
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comments powered by Disqus][28]
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Advertisement
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Formula 1 Drivers' championship: Latest standing in the Formula One drivers'
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championship.
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* [Motoring][29]
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* [Engineering Jobs][30]
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* [Property][31]
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