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news
worldnews
asia
india
8320904
-----
# Alexandra Aitken, her Sikh husband, and what his friends and family really
think about their marriage
## When former 'It girl' Alexandra Aitken married a Sikh 'warrior' from the
Punjab, it was regarded by many as an unlikely union.
![Alexandra and Inderjot][1]
Image 1 of 2
Alexandra and Inderjot Photo: BARCROFT
![ Bikramjit Singh (left) and Gagandeep Sandhu][2]
Image 1 of 2
Inerjot's friends Bikramjit Singh (left) and Gagandeep Sandhu Photo: GETHIN
CHAMBERLAIN
By Gethin Chamberlain in Ludhiana and Patrick Sawer in London 7:30AM GMT 13
Feb 2011
Following a spectacular ceremony near Amritsar - organised at such short
notice that her father, Jonathan Aitken, the disgraced former Cabinet
minister, and her mother were unable to attend - the former society hell-
raiser declared her intention to live a life of humble simplicity with "the
most beautiful man I've ever seen".
But while most cross-cultural marriages are likely to bring their own
particular strains and difficulties, the union of Alexandra Aitken and
Inderjot Singh may have to bear more than most.
Already, some of Mr Singh's relatives have stepped in to denounce the marriage
as contravening Sikh traditions, saying that it threatens to dilute the
family's bloodline.
Members of his family have also cast doubt on Alexandra's widely publicised
claim that her husband is a member of a devout Sikh warrior sect and that
dozens of holy men left their caves to attend the wedding.
Furthermore, there are question marks over quite how religious Mr Singh
actually is, with friends coming forward to point out that he used to be quite
happy living a party lifestyle.
## Related Articles
* [Jonathan Aitken on his daughter's marriage][3]
02 Feb 2011
Alexandra Aitken's marriage to Mr Singh is the culmination of a tortuous
journey, from party girl to yoga devotee and Sikh convert, that has seen her
dabble in Judaism, Islam, Buddhism and Kabbalah along the way.
She told how their wedding was attended by 150 holy men who took the unusual
step of leaving the "caves" where they spend much of their time meditating.
Alexandra, 30, who, after her conversion, calls herself Harvinder Kaur Khalsa,
described her husband as a pious man who spends much of his time helping to
feed and clothe the poor.
"Inderjot is incredibly kind and gentle, but at the same time very powerful, a
real man," she told Hello magazine. "He's one of the easiest men in the
world."
She also proudly asserts that 27-year-old Mr Singh is a member of the Nihang,
an armed order of the Sikh faith which she calls "the SAS of the religion".
The reality, however, may be more complex.
Friends of Mr Singh have told this newspaper that far from being particularly
pious, he used to enjoy more of a party lifestyle and only became devout in
his mid-20s. Like many young men, he drank, smoked cigarettes and flirted with
girls.
Mr Singh was brought up in the industrial city of Ludhiana, the largest in
[India's][4] Punjab state and home to more than 1.4 million people.
His father, Brahmjit Singh, a civil servant, and his mother, Rajinder Kaur, a
senior clerk with the local electricity board, own property and agricultural
land in the state and run a clothing factory supplying larger manufacturers.
The business is overseen by Mr Singh's brother, Amanjot, known as Jyoti.
While Mr Singh's parents appear to be happy with their son's choice of bride,
not everyone in the family shares their delight.
His uncle, Nacchator Singh, said: "I was decidedly against the marriage. It is
the mixing of races and races should not be mixed."
He claims Mr Singh has polluted their pure bloodline by marrying a British
girl.
"No foreigner should marry a Punjabi. We had another foreign woman come and
marry a boy here and she stayed for a couple of years and then left him and
took a lot of money," he said. There are fears Alexandra may soon tire of
living amid India's poverty, contrasting as it does with her privileged
upbringing.
Nacchator said Mr Singh had no obvious means of supporting himself or his new
wife. "Every 15 to 20 days, he comes home to take money from his mother," he
said.
"How long can his mother support him? Once the mother stops supporting him the
mem [short for memsahib, a slightly derogatory term for a foreign woman] will
run away."
There are also doubts over Mr Singh's claim to be a member of the Nihang. In
the city of Anandpur Sahib, where Mr Singh and Alexandra were staying with
friends last week, several members of the order approached by this newspaper
failed to recognise him from his wedding pictures.
One, Fateh Singh, was unimpressed with the way Mr Singh wore his metal Khanda,
symbol of Sikhism, hidden among the folds of his turban rather than proudly
displaying it on the front as they do. "He's a fake Nihang," he muttered.
One of Mr Singh's cousins, Baljot Singh, insisted he is not a member of the
order.
He said: "When he was in Australia, he came back with all the attire. But
Inderjot is certainly not a Nihang Singh. Nihang are a specific sect and he
does not belong to them. He is not registered with the Nihangs. He has just
adopted the attire." He also dismissed the claim that 150 of the wedding
guests were "cave-dwelling Nihangs".
He said: "His friends came to the wedding wearing the Nihang clothes but they
are not Nihang either. And they don't live in caves. They all belong to good
families."
Gagandeep Sandhu, who lives in Anandpur Sahib and knows Alexandra's husband,
said: "He used to be a wild boy. He cut his hair [forbidden in Sikhism], went
to parties, chasing girls, smoking and drinking. It would be fascinating to
know what changed him."
Bikramjit Singh, a 27-year-old lawyer who shared a room with Mr Singh when
they studied together at Rayat-Bahra college of law near Chandigarh city, and
in whose parents' house the couple have been staying, admitted that his friend
had not always been so devout.
In 2007, Mr Singh dropped out of college and went to Australia, where he
attended the Holmes Institute in Sydney.
Bikramjit Singh said: "He wanted to start a new life there like many people
who go abroad from Punjab.
"He went to a college there, but came back after a year. While he was in
there, he met a saint and became very religious. Before that, yes, he was not
so religious; he did like parties."
The couple have already made thousands of pounds from selling the story of
their marriage to newspapers and magazines, something which has alarmed
members of the Sikh establishment. They are also concerned about Alexandra's
commercial activities, which include a yoga business in California and the
sale of yoga mats at $85 (£53).
Her Blue Light Yoga website contains appeals for donations for the creation of
a school in Amritsar, the location or existence of which is not made clear.
"If you are with our religion, you don't do it for business; it is for a
better life," said Mr Sandhu. "If someone is using the Sikh religion for
business that is wrong. Before her marriage, she can do business, but not
after."
Alexandra's father, who was sentenced to 18 months in prison in 1999 after
being found guilty of perjury and perverting the course of justice, defended
Mr Singh, telling The Sunday Telegraph: "He is a Nihang and a teacher. He is a
very spiritual man with a deep religious commitment. People come up to him in
the street and ask his advice."
Mr Aitken, who recently returned from a four-day visit to see his daughter and
son-in-law, said that Mr Singh spends at least an hour a day working in a soup
kitchen for the poor in the precincts of the Golden Temple.
"Inderjot has made my daughter blissfully happy. They are wonderfully happy
together and I rejoice in that," he said.
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/8320904/Alexandra-Aitken-
her-Sikh-husband-and-what-his-friends-and-family-really-think-about-their-
marriage.html
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